Chocolate Pecan Pie

This is a story about a chocolate pecan pie. (Feel free to sing along :)

Early morning, girl wakes up,

Chop chop chop, on the board,

It's time to bake up, perfect smell,

It's you they're all eating for, they go:

"Isn't it lovely, this Green & Black's pie?"

And they say:

It's so yummy, it's so good
And it's mine, mine, mine, hands off off it's all my pud,
Thinking, if there's nothing, missing in my life,
Then, why can't I just eat more pie?

Lost in the fridge, in a gyp,

Nothing else in there to make it smell,

And the pastry keeps rolling but it keeps on splitting,

Please tell me, how I can make it stop?!

Please ignore the pot of fermented tofu in the background. I know it's difficult, but we shall try to focus on pie today.

Baby...

"Isn't it lovely, this Green & Black's pie?"

And they say:

It's so yummy, it's so good

And it's mine, mine, mine, hands off off it's all my pud,

Thinking, if there's nothing, missing in my life,

Then, why can't I just eat more pie?

"Isn't it lovely, this Green & Black's pie?"

It is sooo yummy,

Why is it so nice?

If there's nothing, missing in our lives,

Then, why can't we just eat more pie?

And they say:

It's so yummy, it's so good,

And it's mine, mine, mine, hands off off it's all my pud,

Thinking, if there's nothing, missing in my life,

Then, why can't I just eat more pie...?

* * * * * * * 

I think I have my future in song writing right there. And despite all of this, my friends STILL decided to 5p my pudding :(

Lesson learned today: I think I'm Lucky to have Miss Spears summarise it pretty well. Bake me baby one more time, gimme gimme more... oops...I ate it again, I'm a slave 4 pie. Sometimes, no, Everytime, I want to eat 3 pieces, because it's Toxic.

It's Britney, bitch.

Jo’s Chocolate Pecan Pie From the Green & Black’s cookbook Preparation time:     35 minutes plus 25 minutes chilling Cooking time: 1 hour, 25 minutes Use:   28cm (11in) loose-based tart tin Serves:          wayy more than you think Pastry 275g (10oz) plain flour 75g (3oz) icing sugar 150g (5oz) unsalted butter, cold 2 large egg yolks Filling 275g (10oz) dark chocolate, minimum 60% cocoa solids, broken into pieces 200g (7oz) shelled pecans, chopped 3 large eggs, beaten 225g (8oz) light soft brown sugar 250ml (9fl oz) evaporated milk 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 50g (2oz) unsalted butter, melted To make the pastry, sift together the flour and icing sugar and cut the butter into cubes. Place in a food-processor and mix together, adding the egg yolks at the end to form a dough. Carefully roll out the pastry. You will need quite a lot of flour on your board and rolling pin as it sticks easily. The pastry needs to be very thin. Lift it carefully into the tart tin by rolling it up on the rolling pin, then slowly unroll it over the tin, press into the base and sides and trim away the excess, but allow a little extra as the pastry will shrink slightly. Chill in the fridge for about 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/gas mark 4. Bake the pastry case blind by using parchment or greaseproof paper and baking beans for about 15 minutes. Remove the beans and paper and return the pastry to the oven for a further 10 minutes or until it has developed a very light colour. Remove from the oven and set aside while you make the filling. Reduce the oven temperature to 160°C/325°F/gas mark 3. Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl suspended over a saucepan of barely simmering water. Mix together all the remaining ingredients for the filling, then stir in the melted chocolate. Spoon into the pastry case and return it to the oven for about 1 hour. Watch the pastry carefully and if necessary cover with foil to prevent it burning. HINT: Any dried beans or pulses can be used for blind baking – red, kidney, black, corn or rice – all they are doing is putting weight on the pastry so that it doesn’t rise during baking. Once cooled, they can be used again and again.

5p'ing: Like pennying in Oxbridge,a dessert may be pennied, the objective being to consume it hands free. However, this, in some Cambridge Colleges, must be done with a 5p piece. Here, the victim has been "silvered", and must thus consume their dessert without silver ware. A 19 year old student was once expelled from Cambridge university after maliciously 'silvering' Stephen Hawking's dessert at Gonville & Caius College (says Wikipedia, the source of all knowledge).